The Letter to the Colossians part 6
Colossians 3:17-21 | Lord of the Manor
Growing up I watched a lot of tv, probably too much. I especially enjoyed those sappy family sitcoms that gave us the great catch phrases like, “Did I do that?” and “How rude!” I also loved that at the end of the show, the mom or dad would sit their troubled child down and they would talk out whatever problem had plagued them for the last 22 minutes (plus commercials). Family Matters and Full House would start playing the introspective piano melodies, and you just knew the end of the episode was coming with a wonderful, insightful lesson for the child (and the viewers) to take away. Of course, some of the best shows would break this trend. Before Family Matters and Full House was the incomparable Cosby Show.
In the first episode, Cosby set itself apart from other sitcoms in the conversation between Cliff and Theo. Theo has not been doing well in school, and spends about a quarter of the episode arguing with Cliff over the problem with school. Theo sums up his stance by asking his dad to “just accept who he is.” His parents have been successful in education and in their careers, and Theo accepts that about them, so why can’t Cliff just accept Theo for who he is. It is a poignant speech to which the studio audience claps in response to a very progressive and timely message. Cliff looks at his son, and with an enormous amount of love states, “Son, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! You’re gonna work hard; you’re gonna get good grades. Why? Because I said so!” The audience erupts in laughter as the idealistic scene is broken with the reality of father-son relationships.
And yet, with this particular example, we have another layer of reality the original audience did not know. About 30 years after the premiere of that episode, Bill Cosby found himself in a courtroom defending allegations of crimes against the women he worked with. It was a bizarre scenario for the man who many saw as a virtual father figure. And yet, when many of those tv dads are spoken with in real life, the television facade fades quickly.
Is it possible to have the idyllic family of tv? Of course not. It’s tv. There are no writers for us. And, even if we did, everyone who has been a parent for more than 5 minutes knows children rarely follow the script.
But we are not left to our own devices. The power of the Gospel is that as it transforms us individually, it can then transform our families. The unity, peace, and love that we desire and find attractive in tv families is possible through the transforming power of Jesus Christ. It may not be the power to resolve all difficulties in a 22 minute episode, but it is the power to weather life’s storms and the wisdom to grow together under the Lord.
We are continuing in Colossians 3 where Paul has already established the need for Christians to fix their minds on ‘things above’. In doing so they are able to live out the love, compassion, kindness and patience that we receive through Christ and in the power of the Holy Spirit. Having established the transformed heart and mind, Paul turns to how these affect our family and work life.
But, we will come to something of a controversial verse. As we do so, it will be helpful to look back at the first part of Chapter 3. Paul is establishing the necessity for Christians to live counter to the world around them. Rather than indulging in every passion, selfish desire, or emotion, Christians are called to fix their minds on Heavenly things in order to live above the world's chaos. The remaining chapter takes this deep theological truth and places it within a very practical, earthly setting. After all, the first ones to notice our transformed lives should be our loved ones.
Colossians 3:17 : Do Everything in the Name of the Lord
17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:17
With our minds fixed on things above, we can then act in the Name of the Lord.
This blanket statement covers every scenario in our lives. How do we treat our families? Treat them as the Lord would treat them. How we treat our co-workers? Treat them as the Lord would treat them. How do we treat those serving under us? Treat them as the Lord would treat them.
How do we act and speak within the church walls and to those outside the Church? We act and speak as those who have the Lord within us, because that is exactly who we are. For those in Christ Jesus, we have the Holy Spirit in our hearts, and so we must behave as those who are guided by the Holy Spirit. We are under the Lordship of Christ, empowered by the Spirit, and in the same Family of the Father. Therefore, whatever we do and say, we must do in the name of the Lord.
But, what does it mean to do something "in the Name of the Lord"?
To invoke the Name of Deity is to invoke the power of God. In Old Testament times and in pagan cultures, the names of God, or gods, were meant to call upon the power of that god. For pagans, they would call on fertility gods for their plants and children. They may call on the rain god for rain, sun god for sun, and in some cases, they may even call on gods to curse or bless others. In the Old Testament, the Hebrews recognized there is One God above all others who is the Only Sovereign Creator. Thus, blessings and curses were done under the Name of the Lord.
But, the Old Testament also has many names for the One Lord, because God demonstrated His love and power in a variety of ways. Elohim was a borrowed term for the Hebrews which came from the word 'El', which means "Higher One" or "Strong One". Its etymology is along the same track as "star", so the picture is that just as the stars are high above humans, so too is the Lord high above us.
El Roi means 'the God who Sees me'. Hagar, Abraham and Sarah's servant, used this name when the Lord provided for her and her son in the wilderness. It reminds us that even though God is high above, He sees us.
El Shaddai means 'The Almighty God'. Who is greater than the Lord? Who can do wonders like the Lord" No one, because He is the Almighty God. He is greater than all other beings.
Yahweh Rophe is the "Lord Who Heals". It is used only once in the Old Testament, Exodus 15:26, where God reminds the Israelites that He has the power to heal. In the New Testament, though we do not actually find Jesus being called "The Great Physician", we know that He is because of the number of healings. In fact, one of the primary reasons the disciples recognized Jesus' Divinity was His ability to heal.
The many other names all point to the central truth that God is able. He is able to see us, to hear us, to provide for us, to heal us, and to sustain us through whatever task we find ourselves doing.
To live in the Name of the Lord is to live under His power, authority, and care.
Colossians 3:18-21 : Do Family in the Name of the Lord
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Colossians 3:18-21
These first verses deal with family relationships, and of course, in our post-Women's Liberation age, there is the question, "Does this really mean wives should submit to their husbands?" This answer is 'yes, but look at the context'. When we take these verses out of context and apply our 21st century problems, we completely miss what God is telling us.
First, let’s go back in time to get a sense of how counter-cultural Paul is being with his message. Every once in awhile someone will make the claim Christians are perpetuating out-dated gender norms or patriarchal oppression, or some such. But, let’s consider the society Paul is addressing. Under Roman law and cultural norms, the father held the status of pater familia and as such held absolute control over his household. Wives could be divorced for infidelity, among any number of other reasons, but the wife could not legally divorce her husband for the same causes, including infidelity. Children were not considered ‘alive’ until the father gave the child a name, which could take until their first birthday. If at any point the father decided he did not want the child, he could legally take it out into the woods and abandon it.
Husbands and wives are called to live out the Christian attitudes in their marriage.
Now, if we look back at the first part of chapter 3 in which Paul tells Christians to put to death the old self and take on the traits of true righteousness, and then reread “Wives submit to your husbands” and “Husbands, love your wives”, what we find is a very different picture than patriarchal oppression. Consider also Paul wrote to the Galatians, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave or free, nor is there male or female, for you are all one in Christ” (Gal :28). Husbands and wives are equally under the Lordship of Christ and equally called to follow the lifestyle of true Christians. What is different is how that works out in the marriage relationship. Wives should submit to their husbands, but it is not as a slave, it is as a fellow worker in Christ. And likewise husbands are called to love their wives, not being harsh, because they know they are also under the Lordship of Christ, and He is not harsh with us.
Wives are called to submit to their husbands, and husbands are called to be worth submitting to.
Paul then addresses children. We should note the change in verbs from ‘submit’ to ‘obey’. ‘Obey’ is a stronger word which demonstrates the degree of submission. Wives are to be submission, but they are not children. Children, on the other hand, should obey their parents keeping in mind it is the first commandment with a promise. Turn back to Exodus 20 for a sec.
Exodus 20:12 — Honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.
The promise is that if children obey their parents, then they will have healthy lives in the future. Again, turning back to Colossians we see that this obedience is not blind obedience to horrible parents, but rather as parents raise their children in the Name of the Lord, the children are to be obedient and the family will last. It is a central tenet for civilization. The family is the foundational unit for the nation. When the families are good, the nation is good.
Notice, again, it is not blind obedience to oppressive fathers. Fathers are called to lead their children in love. They are not to ‘provoke’ them, or ‘irritate, exasperate, or incite’ them. Fathers are to lead their children into obedience not beat them into submission.
Children are called to obey their parents, and fathers are called to be worth following.
Look closely at these verses. Notice, in the age when fathers held absolute power in their homes, Paul is telling fathers to lead with dignity, love, and the same attitude of Christ. To argue these verses are somehow perpetuating patriarchal oppression completely misses the weight that is placed on fathers. They are called to lead their families as Christ leads the Church. Now, before I lose all the fathers, go back to verse 17. Whatever we do, including leading our families, we do in the Name of the Lord. It is the power of the Gospel to transform our families and give us the power to lead our families. As we are transformed into Christ’s image, then we are able to live and lead in the image of Christ.
Hopefully it is becoming clear verses 18-21 are not about keeping children silent and women barefoot & pregnant in the kitchen. It is a call for fathers to lead their families as Christ leads His Church, with compassion, kindness and wisdom.
The high calling for fathers is achievable in the power and wisdom of Christ.
Concluding Questions
Before we close, I want to point out the pattern in chapter 3. Paul begins with the individual and moves outward into a person’s sphere of influence. Notice in 3:1-4, Paul says set your mind on things above. Before we can do anything else, we must fix our minds. Chuck Swindoll famously said, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” If we hope to influence others, especially our families, we must start with our own minds.
Then in 3:5-11, Paul says to put to death the old passions and feelings. We are to fix our hearts in the right place. If our being has been transformed, if we have passed from death into life, then we fix our minds and fix our hearts toward the right passions and priorities. It is no longer about glorifying ourselves, it is about glorifying the Lord.
And so what do we fill in the place of those old passions? The new life given to us by Christ. In 3:12-17, Paul tells us to take hold of Christ and His transforming power in our own lives. With our minds and hearts anchored to Christ, our attitudes will demonstrate love, compassion, kindness, and patience. Take note, Paul spends 17 verses just on the individual. Before anything else, we must let Christ transform us. If we want God-honoring marriages, God-honoring children, and a God-honoring community, it must begin with us. Yes, it does begin with the man in the mirror.
And, then, once we have surrendered to the transforming power of Christ, then we can become the husbands and wives that we want to be. Notice Paul only spends two verses on marriage and two on children. In 3:18-21 Paul is telling us to allow Christ to transform our families. But, it doesn’t take that many verses, does it? Because once Christ’s work begins in us, then it will naturally flow out to those around us, beginning first with our marriages and then children. And next week, we will see it flow even further into our workplaces.
But for today, I want to draw your attention to these questions that you can also find on the back of your bulletin.
Does my family see the living Christian characteristics of love, compassion, kindness, and patience? Or do they see the old, dead self haunting our house?
Husbands, are you willing to lead (not boss) your family as Christ leads the Church, knowing it requires the grit and wisdom that can only come from Christ?
Wives, are you willing to allow your husband to lead being a source of encouragement and strength?
Husbands and wives, are you willing to acknowledge the failures of the past, forgiving one another, in order to become a unified couple under the Lordship of Christ?
For the children (young and old), are you making your parents’ jobs easier or harder? Are you willing to recognize the fact your parents have been around longer and have lessons to teach you?
As we reflect on our family roles and the picture of what we would like our families to be, I want to remind you once again, that “perfect family” we see on tv is just a fantasy. And yet, what we can have is a family filled with love, but it first starts with ourselves. Is our own mind and heart fixed on Jesus, or our own passions? Remember, Paul begins this chapter with “If then you have been raised”. Godly families begin with godly people, and godliness comes when we have put our trust in Jesus. Today, if you have not surrendered to Jesus as Lord, asked Him for forgiveness of your own sin, and trusted in Him for eternal life and wisdom, then today is the day to start a brand new life. Before we can raise our children well, before we can be better husbands and wives, we must become better humans. And the first step is to go to our Creator and be cleansed of the sin that kills us and our families.